Blown away.

There's really no way to write this and make it sound the way I want it to. I keep trying, keep editing. Words are always only so deep. I wish I could make a fraction of the impact that I have felt. But thank you just doesn't do it...

See, God put a passion into our hearts for the forgotten. We didn't ask for it, or maybe we did, but we can't help it. I dare you to say "Use me." to God, it's cool and rough and sometimes overwhelming. For us, he placed this passion in our hearts. For the child that sits wondering if anyone has ever cared about them. The child convinced they know the answer to that question. The child that asks and does not receive their simplest needs. The child that doesn't bother asking. The child that grows up in fear. The child never chosen.

A lot of frustration comes with this, we are finding. This world is so backwards. It shouldn't be so hard. They shouldn't have to be stuck waiting. They shouldn't have to be turned away because of a price tag, to be left to wait forever, only to get themselves into a life where they truly are just a price tag to someone. The kids that don't have a pin prick of a chance at normalsy without an adult in their life loving them. 1 in 6 will end it all by 18, at least there. Do you know how many would come running without the cost! But God works there, in that moment of choosing this despite that real impossibility. That's the spot where he says "watch me" and when you hear that, get ready.

I can see us, over a year ago now, bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to take on the hardest, beautiful, God ordained journey... only to be at the foot of Everest with the cold reality that it is both impossible to reach and there is not enough oxygen at the summit. That no penny we have will make a dent in the the price to buy a life. He is unadoptable, he is practically an adult, he is unchosen. Let us! We want him! He's amazing! He's worthy of love! He's worthy of the (less than glamorous) life we can give him! Let us take him. Give us a chance with him. Give us the rest of his dwindling time. Instead of an "absolutely!" from the world that is "burdened" by these kids, you hear, "are you sure, you need to know all this, study, here's more books, you need to jump these hoops, you need to jump higher, you need to be reviewed, you need to wait, your 'I' wasn't dotted so you need to redo it all, you need to wait longer, are you sure because we aren't about you... it will cost you $40,000 for a chance, not a yes, a chance." This world is backwards. But every step worth it. Because when God tells you to do something, "Ummmm.... yeah, no." doesn't really work. I know from experience. But there's always a whisper, "it's impossible..."

Then came you. Instead of the "are you sure" you said "How wonderful!" Instead of saying "let me pick apart your weaknesses" you said "you can do it!" Instead of saying "you should have planned for this unexpected thing" you said "how can I help?" You said how can I help thousands and thousands of times. You said "Yes, it is worth sacrificing to give this child a chance" right along side us. You made us feel hopeful in the hopelessness, you made us feel supported in the loneliness, you made us feel loved in the face of these kids' darkest realities. A dollar. Then $10. Then $50. Then $100. Then $1,000. $15,000 later and we are blown away. We have gone from staring up at a $40,000 wall to $12,000 away from affording this. $12,000 is ahead of us, and God is not done. He continues to bless us through you. Every day, every week, closer and closer, we are blown away. We can almost actually afford to bring this boy home. We almost actually believe it ourselves, we can do this! It isn't surprising that we have the most amazing friends and family in the world. We've known that for a long time. But out of the woodwork have come the most caring, compassionate, rock solid human beings I've met, some long ago, some new, so many I've never met, so many that don't know us but are standing with us, loving us, loving our little children, loving this not so little boy. You change impossible to possible. For a LIFE. For a living, breathing, able to change the world, able to be anything but a statistic, teenage life.

No. I have no words to correctly explain all these happy tears you bring me, all these surprise donations or love notes or gift cards or clothing for them or time you take. I have no words to write on a card yet. I've tried. So many times, I've sat at my little stack of thank you notes to write you and mail it off. Every time it sounds cheesy, or self consumed, or insincere. I promise I will figure out how to personally explain to each of you how your choice to support us has changed the future so greatly. For now... what can I say but thank you. We are truly blown away. We love you.